Twenty Nine

Day Twenty Nine:  Bright.

Something about becoming a stereotypical teenager really intrigued me when I was younger.  I was plagued by the fear of not surpassing “normal” sixteen year old girl milestones. I had a cooler on my Sweet Sixteen, I had posters on my walls and listened to the usual rebellious music.  I was actually worried that my room wasn’t enough of a mess to be a teenager.  I worried about everything, and now looking back on this and reflecting a bit on if I am the stereotypical University student I’ve decided not to care.

I looked out my window for some time today, it’s been what, three years since I finished highschool?  And I liked highschool, but it has been a fond farewell to see those years of pressure behind me.  Behind my apartment here in Guelph there is a large parking lot that is commonly empty, and today was covered with slush.  I should have a car there, I kept thinking.  I don’t, obviously, sometimes my friends do, but that’s about it.  I look at my room now and I have trouble even defining what a “normal” university student should have in their modern student-living area.

Stacks of books, check.  Assorted alcohols, check.  Messy bed, laundry basket full of dirty clothes, piles of clothes everywhere, check check check.  A desk full of gadgets, computers, printers, and basic electronics, check.  Am I missing something?  Or is being a student more simple than we all assume it to be?  It’s complicated because of the due dates, the readings on top of readings, the keeping up with a demanding social life and the fact that we are all just really, really broke (and that isn’t an exaggeration, ask anyone, that’s one universal fact of the student).  Should I have something else here, or is this feeling of something missing just an illusion my mind has put on so that I can worry about something else?

Call me crazy but I think there’s something wrong with the need for worry in my life.  I overthink too much, involuntarily, maybe that should be a new goal to work on.  Or I should just get out more.  Either way, there’s a change to be made.  As if the past few months haven’t brought on enough change already.  I guess it’s just that time of my life where I’d rather change and embrace it than shy away from opportunity.  Funny thing is, I am beginning to think that phase of your life never ends.  Shouldn’t everyone live their life everyday by embracing every opportunity?  Following their heart?  Taking chances?  Maybe not risky chances, but those little ones that get us through everyday?

This week I haven’t been focusing on the little goals, but the big ones that are more academically related, since I haven’t done much school work lately.  Everything seems to be due in the next two weeks, so I’ve been focusing on PASSING instead of SANITY.  I am constantly searching for little things to propel me through!  Guess I’m in search of a new one for this week, it’ll come along I hope,

Take care,

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