THIRTY

Day Thirty:  Rockstar!

I sang Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love a Bad Name” so many times in class today I thought I was going to lose my voice.  I’ve been reading since dinnertime and I don’t want to be reading anymore.  I have been thinking a lot tonight about the area around the Eiffel Tower.  Lots of grass and tree’s, the Riber, tourist things but also just nothing things.  We sat beside the tower for a few hours one afternoon in the shade of a tree, drinking water and just watching it.  As if it did tricks or anything.  That simplicity seems lost on me now.

Busy days are so demanding, but so are days where there seems to be nothing to be done.  So much stimuli, so many people to talk to places to go, errands, things to read, conversations and coffee’s to be had.   Would it be terrible to ask for a day off?  Yes?  After the four month vacation I just had?  Yes, but that was reall on-the-go, not complaining or anything.  I just crave those simple afternoons in a park or just walking the Thames,   I just always feel…on.  Need some relative down time I think.  Need to clear my head.

If that surprises anybody then I haven’t done my job right.  This resolution was to enjoy my writing and motivate myself to write often, to probe my vocabulary and focus and organisation, time management, all of those things…  I’ve tried to make things cohesive, interesting, but most of the time I have quite plain thoughts.  Like these.  I need to download some guided meditation prompts to relax more, go to bed earlier, and remember to wash my face properly in the mornings.  My life as a Rockstar, I suppose.

I think I’m just frustrated because I would enjoy what I’ve been reading so much more if I could read them in a coffee shop, or tucked into a library chair or something, not stuck at my stupid desk in my stupid room.  I’m not bitter, I just get tired of it every once in a while.

I gots the faith that tomorrow will be a long but bright day, and that the blog tomorrow will be much more upbeat, and potentially (I say that intentionally) organised.  Sometimes I just write whatever I want, and sometimes I think about it.  I didn’t think much before I started today, for that I apologise.  I really wanted a butter scotch ice cream sundae with peanuts instead.

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