Nine

Day Nine:  Let's Start to Lose Control Turn Up Your Radio

Have I mentioned yet that I actually love learning?  That doing recommended as well as optional readings, and participating in seminars, and attending lectures all really excite me?  I just love to know things and develop my own idea’s.  There is something about being passionate about the things that I’m learning that makes me want to continue to do graduate studies.  At other times I remember how exhausting the whole lot of this degree and system is and appreciate the time it takes now.  Despite the exhaustion, I love that I am learning anything at all.

It doesn’t always feel like learning.  Like today’s Literature in History reading was eleven pages of general, common-sense topics that was an overview and not really that necessary, it doesn’t feel like I’m learning much.  But I know that when I leave tomorrow’s seminar I will have thought about things I didn’t think I would think about during that hour and a half, evokes thought and propels my curiosity further.  I love this field for that.

As I go through my studies to better my education, spiff up on writing papers, network academically and ultimately create a professional self for myself I forget that life isn’t just about attaining this silly piece-of-paper degree.  That what I am actually getting out of this whole process is experience, like it or not, easy or not easy, tiring or smooth, I will end up a better Lady because of it.  That is the exciting part, not the marks at the end, but the adventures that seem to become my everyday.

My life feels like it is actually falling into place now.  I am determined on being less anxious about everything:  stop worrying about every little thing, and to let it all just fall. 

They say that things that fall

Break on the way down,

But I’m already broken so

I’ve saddled up for the way down.

x

Jess