January 10, 2013

TEN


Day Ten:  I want to hide a while behind your smile

I’ve been thinking a lot about heroes lately.  Bowie sings a lot about them, Hercules seems strong and amiable, the possibility of a journey, an adventure, seems to be what draws me in.  Coming off of a four-month-non-stop-adventure and then settling in to a steady routine seems hard for me.  I’ve already booked my entire weekend solid, not including any down-time at all for myself, and I think that needs to change.  As much as I would like to say that I am an invincible semi-god hero (as my acting professor likes to include in all definitions of a hero) I am not.  I am human, Just Jessie, and I must admit a little tired.

I pledge that next week I will take it a little easier, drink more tea, and smile more.  Those three things are integral to my clean mind space I think, as well as continuing to write.  I didn’t nurture the need to write today and I sort of regret it, but I guess that can be held off for another time.  I don’t have much in mind other than short poetry anyway, I should start thinking about something more concrete before starting anyway.

I am happier right now than I have been in a long time.  It surprises me, lovingly, that I can do this right now.  That I can confidently say to friends and family that I can do this semester, as busy as it is going to get.  That I am content about everything, and beyond all of that I am motivated to continue travelling, exploring new things, and nurturing my friendships.  Gosh, my prof asked us today what we loved and I was going to say my friends.  I truly have no idea what I would do without the grounding conversations, never-ending laughter, endless support and love I get from each one.  I can only hope that I am that good of a friend to any of them.
Early bed for me this evening, I think next week I might make a theme for each night so that less posts tunr out like this one:  random and unorganised.  There is nothing I prefer less than an unorganised blogpost.  I’ll think about this and get back to you.

Goodnight,

X
Jess

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