Nineteen

Day Nineteenth:  Chocolate Chips and Apple Sauce

I am craving an entire day of absolutely nothing right now.  Not even plans, but just sleep until I wake up, eat what and when I want to, troll tumblr, watch Mad Men, don’t get dressed unless I feel like being outside kind of day.  It’s my Birthday this week, is that too much to ask?  Yes, it is, because on my birthday I have four and a half hours of class and plans, and people to call and things to do.  No homework, no gym, but just enough busy-ness to make me want to take a day off in the near future.  With this term’s courseload weighing on my anxiety I don’t think it is going to happen any time soon.

Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with people.  Dinners, evenings, morning tea’s, whenever we all can fit eachother into our days we do.  I just like to have me-time, time where I am not doing work or homework or reading and just letting myself enjoy having free time.  Hah, free time, even typing it looks like a different language.  Last night was the closest I’ve had to free time since this term began, and I spent it with Kyle. 

It doesn’t even feel like a Saturday with this amount of things to do it feels like a Sunday, and even tomorrow I have so much to do!  I can’t catch a break I tell you!  Oh well, it’s my BIRTHDAY WEEK and I will enjoy it, despite the busy-nature!  I’m getting older, responsibilities change, I just feel like too many things have been changing lately.

Until I get a day to myself, a full legitimate day, I will take little things to keep me sane.  Long breaks for apple or blueberry tea and Bowie, or reading while doing makeup, or listening to tutorials on youtube while working.  I can do all of this, just need to...keep positivity?

Alright, I’m going to be positive.  I’ll finish this reading…when I graduate, maybe, and after that I’m only reading books that I actually want to read and nothing else.  I’m going to smile tonight, despite my exhaustion and stress, and have a lovely evening.  I’m going to ignore the fact that I’m going to be a Twenty-Something and try to enjoy my busy birthday.  This is going to be good, I can feel it.

Or I’m trying to.

Love,

x