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Day Two Hundred and ThirtySeven:   Lists

Have you ever wondered why some people respond very well to lists and others don’t?  I do, as someone who managed four staff at camp this year and wrote numerous lists that were to be done in a set amount of time, for them and myself, and saw the results of those lists.  As a person who writes lists of the lists and schedules I need to make, as a person who when writing papers writes a list of the research methods, places I need to visit, and topics of my paper and continue to follow it.  I respond very well to lists, I have sticky note pads dedicated to different lists I make.  For example, blue are for appointments I need to make while pink is for dates and tidbits I shouldn’t forget.  I have different methods of writing lists, like a to-do list is usually done on the computer if it is for the next few days or weeks, but if it is for a certain task or exam period it is done in print in a sharpie and pasted to my desk.  My lists are my thing, they are what keep me going.

So for back to school I cannot tell you how many lists I have written, and for me that is so satisfying.  I’ve been putting off packing and shopping and organising quite yet because I have two days before I leave to dedicate just to that, so I have written many lists to ease my soul of not having done these things.  These lists don’t come with me aeverywhere, but just knowing they exist is enough for me.  It’s satisfying, in a way, to just know that my past self has planned for an even more future self to get things done, and it takes the pressure off that present self at that time.

It works for me, but it doesn’t work for everyone.  For example if I have say forty pages of a book due the next day (which would never happen because I usually read everything atleast a day in advance) but say that it hypothetically happened and on my schedule it said that I was finishing all my coursework by ten pm, and it was nine forty five, I don’t go over that ten pm end just because I’m not done the pages.  I am lucky in my major to be able to google or ask around or really just bs my way through those last ten pages, because to me I prioritise mental health over grades.  That method changes when it comes to papers and things, but I usually time manage enough so that I am never going over ten pm anyway.  So now you know that if you ever want to see me on a week day or a Sunday to either book it in advance or after ten pm, I am completely free after then.

But I am saying this doesn’t work for everyone, because I know procrastination happens, or stress, or speedbumps that hinder people into going over their “lists” that they make.  But for me I can’t procrastinate.  If I have physically taken the time to write down “1-3 Read Hamlet” I will be reading from those times, and stop at 3 and continue on with my list.  It is very effective for me and I am lucky that I have so much focus.

What I fear for this year, maybe not this semester but next, is that I will lose that nerve.  That my need to finish tasks within my time perameters might vanish, or just disintegrate casually so I won’t notice it, because I will hypothetically be so close to graduation.  Why isn’t it possible that I can just finish…like, now?  If only, if only.

That is why I stick to my lists, so that when it matters most (next Winter) I will not stray from it, and I will adapt to change a little more loosely because I amaware of how effective it is…Or I will try to be. 

Oh my lists, I’ve got to get on to my next bulletpoint, but until tomorrow, hugs,

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