Day Two
Hundred and Fourteen: Nesting, Continued…
It all
seems to make sense when people say that regrets are obsolete. Who actually
cares if you regret anything? Who
cares! It’s done! The past is the past, and you made those
choices, and they are made you can’t go back and change them! Stop dwelling on everything that you really
cannot change, and learn to deal with them!
It is incredibly hard to sit down and face yourself. Trust me, I know, and I have made some pretty
shitty decisions in my life, but I stand behind them. Sometimes not as confidently, but I still
stand behind those decisions because I am mee.
This is me guys, in my absolute most honest hour, saying that I have
done things wrong and messed up and lied and didn’t do my best and took people
for granted and manipulated and been too selfish and greedy and needy, and I
have put people down for my own benefit and have screwed people over and have
lied again, and I am still standing. I’m
a little defeated, from those darned teenage years of “Wasting away” as we all
assume we will be when we are sixteen and in love unrequitedly and need validation
for our lives, but I am 21 now, and I validate my own god damned life,
thankyouverymuch.
That’s the
thing we learn for our teenage years. We
learn that in order to live a life that we can call our own we must validate it
for ourselves. I remember the boyfriend
I ahd when I was 17 and we were in love and going to get married and I thought
I had to do what he told me to because in order for me to have someone in my
life you need to compromise and let them in.
I thought that was true and maybe it is to an extent, but never let
someone else tell you what to do or how to live your life. Ask for advice, smile, give hugs and thank
people nicely, but you do not have to do what anyone else tells you. You make those decisions in your life, and I
realised that after we broke up. That
everything he told me to do I got mad at him for because he told me to do them
and they weren’t in my best interest.
But you know what? I could’ve
just said NO. And I didn’t. I don’t regret it, but now I know whent o
stand my own ground.
How else
are we going to learn how to be people?
We will never, ever be perfect, but we can constantly learn and evaluate
life so that we van live it. Live it. It doesn’t have to be out loud, it doesn’t
have to be on Youtube or with tons of people around you or have huge massive
goals to reach for, but don’t sulk around and wish you were living. You are, if you’re reading this you are
living, right now, and time’s just ticking away. Maybe a part of you living your life is
reading this and that is friggen great I’m glad you find that this blog has
merit for you because it has merit for me and I will forever love and cherish
the words I put here, but you don’t have to.
You evaluate your own wants and needs and if staying in bed all day and
not being productive is what works for you JUST DO IT. I the it when people think that their life
has these huge expectations, didn’t you learn in highschool that what your
guidance councellor wants isn’t necessarily what you need? Or want?
Jeez.
I think I’m
going to make another post about this, this is just great for me, kay, cool.
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