DAY
NINETY: Reflecting the glow of the moon
light
Catching up
on Chronicles of Syntax while I wait for a Game of Thrones link to appear on my
computer screen is good enough for now, but I wish it was Game of Thrones. I love Web Series, and as I approach
potentially writing my own I fear that I will not understand screen writing as
much as I get writing for theatre or myself.
I’ve got a voice for sure, but what I need to form is something of a
voice for someone else. Am I capable for
that? Am I even capable of finding a
voice for myself?
Web series
fascinate me. The Lizzie Bennet Diaries
re-invigorated my love for Austen, the internet, and actors in general. It opened my eyes to a new wave of learning,
reading, narrative and so many other things that are so beautiful and adaptive
and technological. I feel like for once
my talents are all coming together, that I could potentially be stumbling upon
what (among some other things) I am meant to do. How silly is that? 100 episodes of a story I already knew and
epiphanies begin. I’m like one of those
active volcano’s that just sits there spewing ash for decades, threatening
eruption with no garauntee of when where or how violent.
I always
chide on how I don’t allow myself to read for pleasure during my university
school terms because it gets me unfocused and I end up enjoying the novels I’m
reading for myself more so than the ones for my classes (I read Dorian Grey
last year while working out and I could not tell you the plot of any other book
I read during the duration) and that’s just how I roll with reading now, once I
pop on the audiobook I have to force myself to focus. But I’ve always, ALWAYS watched television
shows. I’ve always had two or three weekly
shows to tune into the day after it’s aired and take a half hour to an hour
break and relax with my shows. I also
re-watch tv shows for myself, to keep my mind on other things.
Youtube in
general are ten minute max episodic views into lives, Web Series, internet tv
shows and other things that are so fascinating and beautiful that I would love
to be a part of it in another way than an audience. But I’ve always thought I couldn’t do it
during university terms, because again it is so distracting to create or pursue
other things while working so hard on the things that you’re paying for…
But I watch
web series based on books, novels, scripts, theatrical representations. I watch tv shows that I have already seen, or
intend to watch with full focus, and love them.
I love theatre, and I try to see shows during the term (given it is
increasingly hard on a low budget with limited transportation in a very limited
theatrical town) but I try my best…. Why
don’t I read again? It’s
distracting? Why do things I watch on
the internet not impede with my studies?
Am I
missing something? Is the internet the
answer? Or is there a way that I could
potentially connect my love for reading, creating, and watching things on the
internet during my university terms? I
think there is, and without talking too much about it I am finally excited
about something so interesting and different that I just want to watch and
create, read and identify what is the difference between focus and
exhileration/motivation with a purpose.
With one week of class to go (four days to be exact) and then two exams
to study and write, I am more and more motivated to download a yoga/meditation
book that will not distract me from my studies/writing and just help relax…
But what if
it doesn’t help?
I am too
afraid to begin a new creating project, so maybe…well, it’s all in the works
right now, but I am thinking about working off of something else, like
LBD. Less of a response and more of an
inspiration. A practise round. This is probably sounding rant-y and
convoluted since I haven’t really included much detail, but let’s just say
practise round is upon me, it encompasses me, and I hope to not disappoint.
Other goals
for this week: Get centred, DO YOGA (so
important right now, must get motivated for this), see the people I love, and
remember that I can do this. Elevator
breathing aside I want to just embrace this final week of my third year and
really just…get ‘er done. I gots the
faith that I can get myself inspired!
x
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