Eighty-Three

Day  Eighty-Three:  Oh to be Young, Wild, and Free

When I was very small my grandparents took my to the Toronto Zoo and I remember going to the polar bear exhibit and looking through a small window to a very large room with a very large polar bear.  It was huge, I think it must have been the first time I saw any bear in real life, and I seriously was under the impression that this small room that the bear was kept in was where bears lived.  This illusion wore off eventually, but the size of the bears did not.  I to this day have night terrors in which a very large, half-house sized polar bear chases me through an apartment building until I can’t feel my feet anymore.  I’m not very afraid of bears or anything, it’s just a dream that happens every once in a while.  I hink it sprouted from this illusion the Zoo cast on me when I was young.

I love the Zoo, the Toronto Zoo especially has fond memories mainly with my grandparents and my extended family (aunts, uncles, etc.) where we walk around and eat ice cream and smile in the sunshine.  I’ve been thinking a lot about my childhood family memories lately, and how my family communicates and spends time together.  Last night my family and I made Lasagna from (almost) scratch, and everyone had a specific job or thing to pay attention to—even Kyle, who helped set the table, stir, and make a dessert!  We spent the preparation time of the meal listening to loud music and making jokes, and enjoyed it together at our dining room table as our usual Family Meal nights are usually spent.  I was hoping that it would end this wayL  positively and joyously (not to mention deliciously).

I think what’s got me stuck on reminiscing and craving more family time is that I am coming to a point in my life where I am going to start to make important, life-altering decisions on how I want to spend the rest of my life.  Things like where I want to live after I graduate, how I will get around, where I will work and study and who will I be spending my time with.  As I plan to vacate my childhood room in my parents house (still quite a ways-away but in the back of my mind none-the-less) it has dawned on me that I need to make an effort to spend my time with them wisely.

My brother and I watch tv shows together, and my sister and I go shopping or do sister-girl things like get ready together or actually go out at night.  I enjoy spending dinnertimes or lunches with my parents, and would like to plan something like Family Game nights for this summer, potentially with some Harry Potter Scene-It, although in our house it gets competitive and intense very fast.  I guess I’m just realising that this relationship between my domestic family and I is changing, and I want it to go smoothly, as long as everyone’s on board.

I love growing up, I really do.  The new responsibilities and things are somewhat of a challenge and deciding on what I want to do with my life is getting down to the nail and daunting, but the thing I will miss about being younger is the freedom to rely on the dinner the next evening at the dining room table.  When I wake up my parents aren’t there to drive me to school anymore or to pack a lunch (as my Mom so lovingly chimes that I was lucky when she did!) and I miss it.  I hope my brother and sister don’t take those little things for granted, because once they’re gone they are really gone.  There’s no Dad driving me an assignment I left at home, I have to scrape it together just to get home from the grocery store with both of my hands!

So to everyone who has, is, or will be sitting down for a meal with their family tonight or later this week I hope you enjoy those moments, because they will not always be there.  Something that we’ve learned this term as a family is that every moment is precious when it comes to the people you love most.  I am off for a dinner with one of my best friends, who might not be biological family but is the closest I’ve got while I’m away from home. Thanks to my family for a great weekend at home, looking forward to many lovely Easter Delicious Dishes next weekend!  Good evening to all and to all a good night!

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