Ninety-Five

Day Ninety-Five:  Why do I not already do this?

I had this philosophy going into my London semester where I was going to take every opportunity and just say YES.  YES, I will go to Ireland for the weekend.  Another pint? YES.  Day trips? Spending money on souvenirs?  Buying everything in the Harry Potter store?  Popcorn at the movies that tastes like candy? YES.  And I spent every moment of London working hard to take every opportunity and enjoy my time there because I was there, for four months, and had a lot to get done and enjoy doing my schoolwork and research and seeing theatre shows and visiting tube stations and the Tower of London and all kinds of projects and strange homework, and while doing so I ended up drinking a lot and eating a lot and seeing a lot, and that was all because I said YES.

And then I came back here, and I started worrying about my work load and being alone and trying to balance everything without falling apart, and to be honest it has been a challenge but finally has tapered off (just in time for the end of the course) and I did it, but there was something missing.  I realised it today with Judith, and that is that…I didn’t take every opportunity.  I could’ve done things, gone downtown, seen a different play, spent a tiny bit more money, stayed up a little later, but I didn’t in order to…well, I don’t have many excuses.  I want to keep saying yes inspite of my courseload, and that’s the goal for next term.

Not the summer, because the summer is going to be full of trying to get the most out of what Waterloo and Guelph and Toronto and potentially Montreal has to offer, but come September I am going to go downtown, and spend time in the archives, and drinks at the taps after class more, and smile and do things during the year because HEY….I’m graduating next year, the coming year is my final undergraduate year, and I need to like take life by the horns or something, whatever that cliché is, and just jump off the cliff already.

What am I waiting for, exactly?

Another London?  Because as fabulous as it was it was a fleeting time, and now I’m in Canada which is (kind of) just as beautiful and exciting if I say YES to things..or I would like to assume.  Maybe I’m completely wrong, and next year will be a wreck, but I will be in the theatre more and researching in the archives more and writing more all in the next term alone, and I know those three things combined with a dash of yoga and mix in a bit of free social time and…well….Fourth Year Jessie might just get by with her sanity…  Might.

I hope this works, atleast, so here goes:  time to say YES.

x