107

Day One Hundred Seven:  Home and Beyond

How many thoughts and idea’s pass through my head in a day and the moment I pop open a document to write this here blog every one seems uninteresting to even myself, and so again I sit at a loss of what to say.  Shall I talk about my anxieties of two appointments (one pre-operation physical and one dentist check up extrordinaire) that are tomorrow and how I dread them excessively.  Shall I talk about my new found motivation to be xbox games and learn how to play them?  Or shall I ramble on about how I can no longer piece my thoughts together?

IIt’s that battle I always have at the end of a term where the day-lapse adjustment back into having a life again and not feeling super unproductive.  I struggled at dinner to not let my mind work overtime trying to figure out how many hours of work I had to do tonight because I actually had none.  IT’s a superb feeling, but at the same time I feel so useless, I ended up cleaning my room anyway.  You’d think I’d write something here, but apparently I was preoccupied with which drawer was the proper one for my skirts and if pants should occupy the same drawer.  Priorities, right?

As for tomorrow I know I shouldn’t be worrying because I brush twice a day and there are (hopefully) no needles required at any moment, and there’s a lovely youth-inspired dinner out with some CNIB friends in the evening, and I think I’m going to read some more, and really there is no reason for such headaches as I’ve been having all day.  Maybe it’s due to the isolation that university life brings for someone immersed in a full courseload in a senior level year, but I find myself forgetting to get hair cuts, dentist check-ins, doctor’s appointments, and the like while in a term because it pulls me from focus.  So when it comes around I do feel rather uncomfortable, and as for that unease I wish tomorrow was happening.

I will feel better tomorrow evening when I can focus on a bath and a book and new and different writing ventures that I am embarking on very soon.  I wish more things were so easy to dismiss, that by the end of the day tomorrow these thoughts today will seem silly, but they still happen.  That’s just me I guess,  and that’s okay.

I remember the first time I did a three-six-five blog and at the end paragraph I gave advice to everyone: myself, readers, specific people….  I haven’t been following that suit as much as I did two years ago, and to behonest I don’t really see the point to it. If by the end of a post I don’t like what I’m saying why would I preach any further?  And by the end of a passionate post if you don’t get the point then well that’s lost on you and that’s fine by me.  Here is where I would challenge everyone to live like me, but in reality that’s not possible for everyone, so instead I challenge you all to just live.  Go for it.  No advice on not worrying about things, or being organised or enjoying vacations, just live.  That’s cool with me, ‘cause that’s all I’m trying to do right now, too.

Live, and live through tomorrow’s appointments needle-free. 

x