104

Day One Hundred Four:  Frankie Says Relax

Tomorrow my friends brings FREEEEDOOOM.  Well, tomorrow evening, and I can think of little else than my studying so I don’t know what to write about today.  I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life, and figured that if I end up doing what I should be doing then I will inevitably be helping people so I should stop worrying about it and just start doing things.  I’ve started running.  Not really long runs, because lucky me my ankles have been shot from a torn ligament, but just getting out and pushing myself a bit.  I’ve been reading Gatsby when I get out, so that’s been nice, getting my mind off of things to just read.  After tomorrow I am starting another book, onto five books pre July!

Tomorrow means Freedom, which means I need a film to watch tomorrow night in order to relax a bit, and I haven’t chosen one yet, but it is going to involve some wine and some fruit loops and a very happy girl.  I suppose I’ll have more time to think about organising my thoughts properly than I do now, since all I’ve been organising all day are the two essays (700 words each) that I have to write tomorrow, as well as some answers to questions, and just figuring out how to approach this, how to get through this final, and how to accept the fact that I will be one step closer to graduating. 

Is that excitement I feel?  Or fear?  Both?  What the hell am I to do with my life?  I have idea’s, and yet I find myself wanting to stop at adaptations of Macbeth and just stick to that forever.  I’m so tired of talking about this, I suppose it isn’t really vothering anyone else, or not in the same way as me anyway.

I guess this blog goes to show what’s been on my mind through the day.  It’s been on hundred and four days and I’ve written a lot of deep posts, meaningful things, silly letters and tiresome complaints, and yet I guess I haven’t really said what I’ve done all day, how my day way, in explicit words.. It’s all about my thoughts.  I think that’s okay, isn’t that what a blog is?  What is the true definition of a blog?  Is there one?

I question everything often in order to make sure and validate that what I am doing is proper and okay, but in all reality I don’t care because I do and write what I want.  I know what I am and what I want to be.

Well, the conclusion to this must be that I should watch Game of Thrones and Mad Men tomorrow night with wine with all the lights on, because it there’s anything I’ve truly learned about myself this term is that I feel less lonely with the lights on.  Well, good night then.

x