106

Day One Hundred Six:  Good night, Little Bear

Judith and I just had a lovely ladies night filled with Disney music, foot scrubs in our bath tub, half a cheese bun and the Rise of the Guardians.  We don’t get to spend a ton of time together as roommates due to completely opposite schedules for coursework and study times, so tonight was lovely just to giggle and talk about how Jack Frost is my boyfriend and that we drink a lot of water together, a whole lot.  I like you, Jude, lub lub a lot, if you were wondering.

One of those things that I miss about being young is the ability to truly lose myself in wonder and my imagination.  I can’t sit on the floor playing with my large pink dollhouse and play with my dolls and Miss Piggy figurine and my Arthur doll, I have to sit at a computer and watch youtube video’s and text people like an adult, and go to work and do paperwork and be polite, civil even, and bottle my imagination up hidden from the world.  I guess I wish I could let my imagination out here a little more, I tried to write a poem today but it wouldn’t come out… I’m hoping that within the week I’ll be able to accomplish one or two proud poems, we’ll see.

I haven’t lost my imagination by any means, but I do feel that the only way I can truly let myself have an imagination is within fictional writing, and maybe storytelling, and daydreaming of course but let’s get real:  adults don’t use their imaginations half as much as they should.  Remember how much fun pretending the floor was lava was?  Or when everything had a different voice in your head?  Was that only me?  I still have light saber fights with my brother and tell stories like crazy, but it really isn’t the same.  So what if I believe in things like ghosts and aliens?  I believe that there’s something else out there, when half or more of the world believes that a bearded man lives in the sky?

Without offending anyone I just really would like the majority of the people I know to take a second and let their imaginations fly, maybe for just a little while, out of control.  We tend to lose ourselves in our schoolwork, in our relationships, in our mind games and alcohol, but how often do we allow ourselves to get lost in the labrynth of our imaginations?  Maybe if you’re a dreamer, a heavy-duty full-time one like me, who imagines so many situations and possibilities inside my head that I would never dare share with anyone due to the…well, the absurditity in it.  Have you ever sat in a lecture and totally lost yourself in your head?

Then why not let it out more often, elsewhere, where it might let out some stress too?

Without embarrassing myself too much I cannot tell you how many times I’ve imagined myself into Harry Potter’s trio, as an Elf from Lord of the Rings, a Tribute from the Hunger Games (and that shit’s recent, I’ve only read the first book last summer), and so much more that in order for me to truly get to the bottom of the boundaries that are broken within my imagination I can tell with confidence that I have imagined myself in cartoon numerous times in the past week.  Is it a problem?  Maybe in the logistics of losing myself in realities that may or may not exist, but I don’t really care.

I know what’s me, what’s what, what’s real, and my imagination takes the wheel the rest of the time.  I think it’s beautiful, but I might be biased.  Coming from the kid who played Mount Krumpet in the snow on her front lawn until she could babysit (and beyond, probably) or from the kid who would (if it were acceptable) dig the dollhouse out from her closet and sit and play for hours with the ebay-bought Harry Potter figurines sitting dusty in her closet…I wish I had more opportunities to stretch my imagination past the ones I create for myself in my head.  If you know me well you’ll know about my extra-curricular writing habits, the phases I go through around surgery time, and my abilitiy to lose myself within my own thoughts.

I have a surgery coming up in May, and you can bet your bottom dollar my imagination will be running free throughout the entirety of it.  I’m off to dream up another playground for me to set my thoughts free in, good night.

x