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Day One Hundred and Ninety-Seven:  Time

  My biggest fear is running out of time.  Running out of time to do all of the things that I love doing, and running out of time to do everything that I want to do.  It’s an abstract fear of death, but in my opinion is not so much the “not being here” aspect but more of the “not being able to finish what I want to do in life.”  I focus greatly on the quality of life that I lead, is it worth it to abstain from eating chocolate if on the grand scale of things it comforts me?  If anything I’ll eat the damn chocolate.  If I died tomorrow I’d kick myself if I didn’t.

I chide often on here about taking risks and doing what makes you happy, but in reality you don’t have to or probably listen to me, and that’s cool that’s your choice, and really it’s silly of me to tell people to do what they don’t want to.  You can do what you want.  If thinking abstractly you never do make mistakes, because the choices that you make define you as a person and ultimately your quality of life, and if you are happy with those decisions (as long as you’re not hurting anyone else) then it shouldn’t matter to me how many risks you take, or really your choices. I trust that you know what’s best for you, and if your quality of life is defined bu not taking risks all of the time and you’re happy with that, who am I to say any different?

I don’t give a lot of advice.  I am relatively self aware that the majority of my advice is bs or just…I don’t know what to say.  It’s not that I wouldn’t love to help you, it’s just that I don’t trust myself to advise other people when I myself aren’t in the situation.  This is kind of what I expect from other people, as I would love to just be listened to and not given advice when not asked for.  I guess I just follow what I wish to be applied to me, or whatever. 

What I’m trying to get at is that time is one of those things, ya know?  It’s one of those things that we all kind of deal with on a daily, 24/7 basis.  It’s truly the only inescapeable aspect of life, and it ticks away without even thinking about how its passing affects us.  Time defines so much, and throughout history humans have successuly integrated Time into their, well, schedules.  Even just by following sunrise to sunset, the passing shapes of the moon, and the changing of tides is considered watching the time. 

Despite your age, the colour of your hair, where you live, the language you speak or the pace in which you read this post, you consider time most moments of your life.  And what does that say about us humans?  It says we have found where we fit amongst the earth and that is by following time patterns and realising that if we wear snowshoes in the winter and tank tops in the summer that eventually the weather temperature will pass.  We have written ourselves in amongst the aging tree’s and the vast oceans to count the days until we are done.  How…depressing.

So don’t count the days.  On your birthday?  Celebrate “Happy Shining Beauty” instead of your Seventeenth, and figure that you are the person you want to be, the quality of your life is at when you are the age of seventeen, instead of that year closer in time.  Time is beautiful in all of its intricacies, but we are glued to it.  Just smile, okay?  Like, you’re awesome, you’ve made it this far!  And you are beautiful!

Gosh, you’re so lucky to be here and living and can type and read and laugh out loud and eat chocolate and complain about time at all.  Think about those things, instead of the fears of the impending dooms of the world, because those are the things that really get us through, relaly.

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