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Day Three Hundred and Thirty-Two:  Behind

In the Bookshelf today I picked up a book by Nora Ephron that described how it feels to be a woman.  Does anyone really kow how it feels to be anything for sure?  When I think of how I feel when I am a woman I think that it is sometimes very difficult and other times easy but mostly difficult, and I feel uncontrollable negativity and uncertainty and anger and sadness and pleasure and desire and love and maternal feelings and all kinds of shit all at once.  I feel conflicted often, and it bothers me.  But most of all I have a hard time defining what being a woman actually means.

So, being a woman to me means attempting to be confidence despite your own mind fighting against you and believing in yourself enough to trust that you are beautiful, smart, and wonderful despite your mind continuously forwarding negative thoughts to your consciousness.  Being a woman means standing up for yourself, and people that you care about, and things that are important to you, and being super badass, fabulous and classy all at the same time.  Being a woman means wearing what you want, when you want, because you are beautiful.  And being a woman means saying what you want, because what you have to say matters, despite what your mind attempts to trick you sometimes.

Being a woman is complicated, and I wouldn’t trade it for, what I told my mother once: “to have a dangley thing between my legs and smell, like a boy,” if I had the chance.

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