Day Three
Hundred and Fourteen: On the Cusp
It’s not a
breakdown, it’s a tidal wave. I feel
like jumping. Not off anything or into
anything, but just in place. I think
that’s how to best explain how I feel. I
feel like jumping. Not dancing, not
singing not doing work I just feel like jumping. I feel like stomping on this place where I am
and making it disappear into the ground below me. I wish I could jump it out of my system. Like, come on, just jump it out. Jump on it.
Jump around. All of that jazz,
just JUMP! It isn’t like I’m going crazy
or anything, we’ve known this for a long time, it just becomes less organised in
here (my head) when I jump.
So I’ve
embraced it.
I jump on
every task that I had on my to-do list today.
I am jumping over the idea of writing for playwrighting, and I am
jumping on holiday idea’s. I like to
jump, jump in spot, jump over on under, jump under, how fascinating, wouldn’t
it be great to just jump under things?
Jumping under things seems like I wouldn’t even have to acknowledge that
they exist, to jump under, to jump under the tunnels of those things, to jump
around them isn’t enough, because then I’d know they were there, but jumping
under…
I’d like to
jump under Monday.
I think if
I jumped right now the person living below my room would not appreciate it, so
instead I will talk about how satisfying jumping would be. Wouldn’t it just? Jump.
Jump under the complicated, gravity-filled issues of today and jump into
sleeping for the night. I’m not
avoiding, because unfortunately jumping doesn’t erase anything, these things
will all be here tomorrow, when I won’t be able to jump any longer.
I think I
just need to face things, right? Is this
too personal for my blog, now? Someone
told me a few weeks ago that when they read my blog it felt really personal, I
feel like I’ve drifted away from writing my advice-focused blogs and into…deeper
things? Things that I wouldn’t care to
publish. Is that a problem? Do I care?
Should I? Do you? I don’t know anymore. My blogs tend to reflect my mood, or I try to
make them that way, is that an issue? Am
I a bad blogger? Probably. I’m bad at keeping up with the posts and
making them relevant to other people.
Here, let me try to make this all relevant to you:
Do not
procrastinate.
Because
that’s the function of this post for me at the moment, aren’t you happy I made
that connection? Perfect. Moving on, jump on.
x
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