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Day three Hundred and Thirteen:  Considering the Chill

 In the air I have decided on principle to not bring out my Big Girl winter coat until after Rememberance day.  I don’t know why this is a rule when it is definitely cold enough to bring it out now, but I will just layer until after Monday.  The Christmas fairy lights will go up in my room next weekend pre-show stress-killing, and after the show is over I will start my Christmas rounds, my Holiday routines, because by then most of my assignments will have settled down.  Until then I’m coasting on the idea that it is coming, imminent holiday numbing is the name of the game. 

It’s hard to sustain motivation when things like the holidays are approaching.  I think I need to be motivated in so many ways that it drains me to just think about the work that still needs to get done.  Imagine a world where it took little effort to get up and do things…  Oh wait, that was last fall, not this fall.

Things are changing, I’m getting older, experiences have new meaning to me, and of all of the things I’ve learned its to take things as they come.  I cannot prepare for anything at this point, can’t be anticipating anything, anyone, to be the way that I would like them to be.  Wouldn’t it be nice to just have things your own way?  Oh life, how precarious and frustrating you have become. 

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