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Day Two Hundred and Ninety-Six:   Shakespeare, baby.

If there is one thing that I wish I had more time to do it would be reading.  I do quite enjoy some of the novels I have to read, and plays that must get looked over, for these degree’s.  But after a long conversation about which texts I’ve actually enjoyed over the past four years the list came out quite small.  After reading into them, writing papers, midterms, finals on them, they become tedious instead of enjoyable.  For example, the first time I read Persuasion by Jane Austen in first year I enjoyed it, and this time I am learning sort of new things but at the same time it just isn’t as good anymore.  In truth I’m happy it wasn’t a better Austen novel as it would’ve ruined the better ones.

So when I took on this study on Macbeth I was initially concerned that I would start to get bored of the story.  We all have read Macbeth, or at the very least know the story, and it is intriguing and fascinating on different levels because of guilt and perspective and all kinds of things you can look at.  But I have recently read my favourite version of Macbeth, and in this version was a novel, and it was short, and it was fascinating.

I love it when coursework is enjoyable like that.  Sometimes I find myself mesmerized by the beauty of literature, of words, like when I studied King Lear last term for the first time and all kinds of secrets about Shakespeare were opened just through the way it was taught.  Next term, when I end up guiding some teenagers through Romeo and Juliet I hope I can open their eyes in the same way, if that is possible, Ed sort of made it difficult to imitate his teaching style since most of his technique contained intimidation.

But understanding Shakespeare has been a developed talent.  I mean, being an avid English class lover since before ninth grade, my first introduction to Shakeseare was Romeo and Juliet, and it was difficult, but after reading a few different texts, and getting really into Macbeth in eleventh grade and understanding how monologues and soliloquies worked the beauty and poetry unfolds, and it makes more sense.  Maybe I’m just a nerd.

When I arrived at university I was bored of Shakespeare.  And luckily I didn’t have to read much, but after seeing Richard III at the Globe Theatre in London last fall I’ve fallen back in love.  I became obsessed with Macbeth, with the complexities with the different ways of manipulation, with William Shakespeare himself and his relationship to language and literature, the act of writing, reading, performance.  It is all so fascinating to me, to think that I can be a part of history just by studying these things, by making connections.  Through my own writing I can create bits of history.  My thoughts contribute to history, it’s all such a strange and beautiful world out there.

Jessie’ nerd is showing.

But seriously, I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own understanding abilities than lately.  I feel the ability to make statements, observations, connections, that ability has been highlighted for me.  I’ve never felt confident in my own answers, in my own thoughts or understandings, but lately it’s become clear to me that taking that risk is easier than it looks.  The world of language has allowed us to make mistakes, and through those mistakes we learn things.  I remember in eleventh grade I was struggling to understand what a comma splice was during essay writing, and after four years of university it still bothers me when I make one without thinking (in academic writing) and yet I know how to correct it.  This is such a great feeling!

If you take anything from this post let it be this: how you read is more interesting than what you read, because the way in which you read affects your life.  If you read things slowly, out loud, read it twice to understand, to get all of the pauses and emotional grabs, if you read and take nothing in it is all important because it says something about you.  Think about that for a while.

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