Day Two Hundred and Ninety:
Finally Caught.
I’ve been behind for a week, and rightly so, it’s been a
stressful time without my own computer, but I am hoping that this goes up
Thursday and all of the other posts go up today too, and hopefully they are all
working and quality and worth it, since it took a while to get back onto the
writing desk. I’m having trouble with my
solo play, I’m feeling uncomfortable (as said in my last post) about the
unstable future I currently have. I am
searching for a crutch so I can get thorugh the finishing of this play and then
deal with this feeling but it’s becoming hard.
My anxiety isn’t something that just leaves when I ask it, unfortunately.
I have some plans to go out for drinks tonight and tomorrow
(and potentially Saturday? Well,
drinking will be involved) and I am working on not being nervous about these
things, and just enjoying myself. There
comes a time every week where I stop being confident and slip a little, and
that’s allowed, I’m trying to pick myself up with slippery skates and no
mittens (Canadian metaphors always make more sense).
At this point what’s been getting me through has been
planning trips in my head to places elsewhere.
I would love to escape my head for a little while, but I’m not in the
business of numbing anymore… I think I just need…something. Why is everything like this so very
hard? I’d appreciate some kind of day
off from all of this sometime soon.
In the meantime I will continue to “numb” my mind with Dr.
Who. I’ve just about finished my first
scarf of the season, which is awesome, and then moving onto the next few. It only takes me a day or two to get anything
to the length I need, and soon I will be able to watch some seasonal things and
feel a little more comfortable. October
is an awkward time because sometimes it’s still warm and other times it’s
chilly (like today) and I’d really prefer chilly days, I love wearing cosy sweaters, it always feels
like I’m getting a hug.
And I’m in the mindset for hugs lately.
x
No comments:
Post a Comment