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Day One Hundred Thirty-Eight:   The Day I Helped With a Promposal

I spent my Saturday of the long weekend with my best friend eating our weight in ham burgers and the other half of the day trying to figure out what that obscure song we were thinking of was, who it was by, and why we were thinking of it in the first place.  Sometimes I think the sole reason for us meeting was to be a combined jukebox for the rest of the world.  We should be given a radio show.  Needless to say it was a very lovely day to say the least, if only the sunshine stayed out a little longer so it was a bit brighter, or that you didn’t have to go home, but what ca you do.?  We had a lovely day, and that’s how we’re going to have to be until we can like afford to do something more fabulous.

I’ve spent most of the nights recently alone watching tv shows, films, and other things in order to keep myself from going crazy.  I’m not ready to go out to the bar or anything yet because of the stitches and my energy levels after the surgery but I have been able to get out of the house atleast.  As of last night I helped one of my sister’s friends prom-pose to his girlfriend, and it was one of those moments that you can actively live vicariously through someone else.  It was lovely.  I wish I was going to prom again.

I wish there was some other big event that I could get dressed up for and have a date for that wouldn’t be something like a wedding  prom, but those dates seem to come far and few, instead of often like I’d dreamt it to be.  Being a grown up, and passing the teenage years seems to disappoint more and more as expectations I assumed would come true disappear as fast as my ability to have long naps or tan for hours on end.  I’m not saying I miss being a teenager, but I do miss the feeling that life would just be open to me when I got older.

The reality of all of this is that in order to get what you want you have to work for it.  That’s simple, and I guess we realise that through our highschool years, close to the end but it happens.  I think that the work should be a fair exchange for a life full of what you want…As long as you enjoy it.  But is enjoyment the true goal?  Not everyone, clearly, but it just…it should be more of  a pay off earlier, shouldn’t it?  Shouldn’t the work we have to do and the effort we have to put in be enjoyable as well?  It can’t all be a piece of cake,  but it should at least be a pay off.  It should at least be worth it.  We should learn something on the way.

You’re only on top of the mountain for a moment, you climb it for a long time.

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