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Day One Hundred and Thirty-Two:  Vogue

Why do people look for the issues, the badness, the negativity, in all or certain situations?  I am at fault for this, as I look at my own imperfections…the things I don’t like about my body, the things that I do wrong within a relationship, the bad marks I get and the mistakes I make, but I try to stay positive within this, or have a tendency to be able to let things go or look at something as a learning possibility and take it in, and learn from it.  Why do some people just look at the negatives and stick to them?

Take Chandler Bing for example.  There is a plot line somewhere in the third or fourth season where he thinks he will be alone forever because he always finds the imperfections of his dates.  One has a head shaped like a pineapple, one has mascara constantly lurking in the corner of her eye, and yet he never takes these imperfections and looks past them, he becomes hung up on them and the relationship ends as quickly as it started.  What if he could just let those things go?

That is a very superficial, physical example, although many of my friends have the same issues there are more than a few instances I’ve been witness to where a grudge is held longer than necessary for no reason.  Why is forgiveness so hard?  Why are people so inclined to keep people in a dark light?  To make themselves feel better?  To focus on something negative in another person to cover up something similarly negative within themselves?  I don’t really know the answer to this.

I’ve learned very recently to acknowledge my feelings towards anything really and make them known, and then let them go.  IT’s a part of meditation and mindful living to acknowledge thoughts and then let them be.  A wise lady friend of mine told me a few years ago that it is important to sit with any feeling in order to feel the rawnesss of it.  I believe as human beings we deserve to have those felings, and feel them.  Why numb them?  Why look them over?  Pain is pain.  You’ve got to know pain in order to enjoy happiness.  Or is that just an ignorant thought? 

All I’m saying is that sometimes its hard to wrap your head around the light, to focus on the goodness, in spite of so much darkness in the world.  I wish grudges didn’t exist, and I wish people forgave easier than they do.   I wish people who were constantly negative picked up their moods and focused on the goodness more, and realised that no one is perfect.  Perfection is impossible, and that’s why happiness and love are able to exist.  In spite of perfection people still have the ability to be happy and love.  I think that’s the closest I can get to the definition of hope in my opinion.

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