May 10, 2013

130


Day One Hundred and Thirty:  Bedtime

It’s all over and done with and I feel…drained.  That’s the only true word to describe it.  I won’t write much as I have to head to my own cosy bed and finally sleep after days of exhaustion and pain, but I wanted to say a few things.  One, I am so grateful to have the support system I have.  I say it a lot but it needs to be said, and without the people in my life I would actually be going crazy, so that’s a great comfort.  Two, surgery is painful, and stressful for a lot of reasons and for a lot of people, and for me I deal with it in a certain way, and I am thankful that people take time to worry about me.  Third, I haven’t showered in a few days, and I had to leave the hotel room this morning for breakfast in my sweats and crooked glasses and bruises, swollen face, and I was a little shy.  I know that people looked at me, and that I looked..rugged, to be king, but I kept eating my English muffin and my coffee and did it anyway.  I couldn’t understand what the couple beside us speaking German were saying, but I am tired of people judging me without knowing me.  I am okay with being me, but I didn’t choose this, so I can’t control it, and I take what I’m given and run with it, okay?  Be okay with who you are, be proud to be who you are, because you’ve only got one you.  And if you don’t like what you are just change it, work on it, step by step, you are the one who has to deal with you for the rest of your life, you might as well be shiny and ready to show off for the world.

As for me I’m off to bed.  I’m dizzy, and am in need of a very good sleep.  Until tomorrow,

x

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