December 28, 2013

362

Day Three Hundred and Sixty-Two: Eye Lash Curling Machine

I received my first eye lash curler yesterday, and to beshort I am quite excited.  I don’t do the makeup thing often but it fascinates me, and I have fond memories of being a very little girl in my grandma’s bathroom while she did her hair and makeup, we would listen to golden oldies on her tape eck and I would dance and beg to have my own eyelashes curled.  She gave me my own yesterday, and I have no idea what to do with them but I am determined to learn for the sake of the three year old Jessie inside of me.

It is funny to think that so many things from my childhood influence me now.  When I played coed soccer when I was four and the boys wouldn’t pass to me so I was put in goal and let in the balls just to make them angry…Needless to say, I don’t play sports much anymore, that’s not the only reason but was a contributing factor.  Or when my brother turned one and I accidentally blew out his candle I felt so bad that now I am hesitant to be around anyone’s birthday candles, I literally hold my breath when a cake that isn’t my own is brought to the table.  This may remain since my brother and my’s birthdays are so close that it was always a struggle to differentiate between cakes…

I just wonder how the decisions and experiences that I’m having now will influence me in twenty years.  How are they going to change the way I do business, or am a mother, or interact with my friends.  I think the strangest part of life that everyone gets frustrated with sometimes is not knowing what you are going to become. 

I think what I strive for in my everyday is to just be proud of who I am in the future.  When I look back at my younger years I see a very naïve girl, and a girl who made mistakes, and hurt people and lived differentl, and that girl has made me the girl I am today (or young LADY, ugh).  Inn twenty years I want to look back and e proud of the Lady I am today.  I think that’s the only way I can come to terms with getting older at this point, and that’s fine with me…for now.


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