Fifty Six

Day Fifty Six:  Just Getting to the End

Oh boy, she seemed to really get upset at that.  He spoke slowly and she just responded in that way that really wrong way that no one wants anyone to respond.  That way where her hands fall to her sides, and her mouth stays tightly shut, eyes close, only one tear, and a deep breath.  Opening her eyes she looks back up at him and nothing changes not even her breathing, but her mouth opens slightly and she replies “well it was good while it lasted, right?”  And you may ask why this was the wrong response, why this compliance is undesirable, why he felt so short-changed, so low, after those words were spoken.  It was of course as if she had said nothing at all, because the minute he let those words fall on to her ears and those hands fell from his he knew that maybe it was not the right decision on his part and maybe he regretted it instantly but that was one decision that could not be retracted.  He reached for her, or he might’ve if she had stayed put, but she turned and left.  No good-bye’s, no see you later’s this time, because when those words are empty they stay that way.

Staring after her he breathed in, and out, and looked at his empty hands where hers just were, and he wondered why those things that he said had been said, and why they were so easy to be said, and why every love song describes love to be so hurtful and hard, and why everyone in the world wanted that one thing that tore you apart.  It tears you apart and that’s just it, it makes a strong man fall to his knee’s praying for her to return.  He didn’t fall to his knee’s, he would never claim to be strong, not after this, not after that, or her.  One tear?  No, not now, later, maybe not at all.  He stared after her, those words were simpler than he thought they would be, and now it was over.

But does it end?  Does the love go into the universe, dissolving like sugar in water?  That’s just it, there’s so much love in the atmosphere that it suffocates us into making stupid decisions.  There is so much love in the atmosphere that with every breath it clouds our minds so that judgement…judgement becomes unclear.  His mind was clouded by so much more.

Just trying to describe a feeling here, again, cannot WAIT until FRIDAY when I can start writing things that are meaningful to me again.  If I write three poems for the rest of the week don't hate me.

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