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Day One Hundred and Eighty:  Moments

Jess’s Advice Series #1:  Savouring Moments

My boss and I were speaking a week or two ago about Family Dinners.  It wasn’t an awkward conversation or anything, but it was just about the importance of Family Dinners and if they are necessary.  For example in my household we have family dinner every night no question unless we have other plans, and everyone sits together and eats together and we ask around “How was your day?” and then eat.  My boss and I were saying that however many times you have dinner together as a family, only a handful result in meaningful conversation, happy interesting beautiful times that are truly memorable.

Which is bittersweet.  I love spending time with my family, but it is true that most of the moments that we experience together are not exactly memorable.  What I would like to emphasize is the fact that as a society we pressure eachother to spend time together, and we pressure ourselves to do things that we think are meaningful but in reality don’t end up glowing stars in our memory.  What I am trying to get at here is that not every moent can be memorable, but to cherish the ones that are.

For example I don’t remember every single day in London.  I don’t.  I wish I did, but tat’s the curse of living in an amazing place for a while, it ends up blurring together.  I do however remember blazing nights.  Like the night AJ took me to the Christmas Carol and we spent ten minutes a block from Leceister square laughing on the side of the street because our teeth were stained red.  Momentarilly insignificant, but it’s those little things that really stick with me. 

Or the time that my sister visited me in residence.  We were only together for a night, but we spent the entire night watching our favourite movies and eating tons of food and laughing, we stayed up late and had to sleep in a very small single bed and laughed a lot trying to fall asleep because it was so tiny we could hardly fit.  It is still one of my favourite nights.

And not all memorable moments are good things I suppose, like those dreadful nights where things just seem like real nightmares, but those are the definitive moments in our life.  Reflecting on my graduation night as my siter graduates this year and realising that that night was monumental on the grand scheme of things because of what happened.  Beecause I spoke to certain people and such.  It is important to me to take with value the moments that have defined me in my life.

So this is my advice to start off this week:  Look back through your memories and think of those moments that you still think back in awe and admiration.  Think of how you reacted during that moment and how nostalgia changes those feelings and thoughts.  Think about them, and recognise their importance in your life.  This isn’t a daily thing, it isn’t a moment-to-moment thing, it is just a time in your life when moments become gravitational, they become the things that you cling to when times get rough, and remember how you felt during and after them, because those are the feelings that define you.

Yesterday I had a defining moment.  If you speak to me often you will know I am ridiculously self aware.  I know when I am uncomfortable, and I know when I am happy.  Yesterday I was rock climbing with some really good friends, and it was a little hard for me and intimidating to be with such confident people, but I tried it at least, and was a little timid to perform infront of the others but did it anyway.  There was a small moment, insignificant to others I think, that I will remember as definitive, and that was after we had all climbed for a bit and were just standing around joking and commenting on the afternoon, and winding up from the climb.  We were standing in a small circle and just laughing, it honestly lasted probably ten seconds, but it was the point of yesterday’s events that I really grappled with the idea that this was what adults do, this is what life’s about.  It isn’t what I was wearing, or if I was stronger or smarter than anyone, or if I was even witty or compassionate, it was smiling and laughing with a group of people who really know me and have the ability to make me laugh.  It was a definitive moment because I acknowledge it as such, but also because I felt that I fit.

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